Dear Mr. Leonard
Your license only has two points remaining. Further infringements may cause your license to be suspended or cancelled.
Please take this opportunity to review your driving habits,
Kind Regards,
***** *******
NSW Roads & Traffic Authority
101 Miller Street North Sydney NSW 2060
(Locked Bag 928 North Sydney NSW 2059)
Tel: 131 782 Fax: 02 8588 4105
NSW Roads & Traffic Authority
Locked Bag 928 North Sydney NSW 2059
Dear Roads and Traffic Authority
To Whom It May Concern:
In reference to your recent letter, I’d like to take this opportunity to ask you to kindly mind your own business.
Regards,
Andy Leonard
Goulburn Police Station
274 Sloane Street
Goulburn NSW 2580
Dear Goulburn Police Department:
A few months ago, I was driving at 5.30 in the morning around the Lake George Area. I was doing a teeny weeny bit over the speed limit (136 in a 110 zone). I think it was because there was a stretch of the road where Poplar trees lined the highway, I felt for a few moments that I had been transported into Europe, where there are less Draconian laws to driving at speeds appropriate to the roads and conditions.
I was pulled over by a policeman of whose name I cannot remember, but he had red hair, was of medium build and had a bitterness which exuded through his skin to sting anything in his path. He had a voice which was creaky, high pitched, yet still intimidating and unpleasant. He had skin which, although looked clear on first sight, was actually pustulant and greasy and was probably a result of bad diet and a bitter outlook on life. I’m sorry, I can’t remember the constable’s name, but hopefully this description should suffice.
Generally when a police officer pulls someone over for speeding, the question is asked ‘Was there any reason for speeding?’ and the unfortunate person who has been trapped is given an opportunity to explain themselves.
The constable gave no such response, instead saying ‘You were coming up to overtake that truck’, which I wasn’t. I replied ‘I wasn’t about to overtake the truck.’, he rebutted ‘Yes, you were.’ I replied ‘No, I wasn’t.’ He then said ‘I’m not going to argue with you.’, I replied ‘Well, you are’. Well he was (arguing with me).
After giving me a fine for $209 and taking 3 points off my license, the constable sped off into the distance to look for his next unsuspecting prey.
I lost my license as a direct result of losing those points and I’d actually like to thank the constable. Since not having a license, I have been reliant on public transport and more simple jobs. My income has gone down 40% as I can not get to the second job which I was contracted to. This job is a 20 minute drive away from my place of residence, yet on public transport is actually an hour commute there and an hour and a half on the way home at time of night when I finish – Willoughby to Coogee, feel free to check that out if you wish, there’s a bit of a hole in Sydney’s public transport system.
'Get out of the rat race', I hear you say 'Leave that vile cesspit of a city and move to somewhere like Goulburn, where you could get around so much easier and have a nice enough quiet life'. I hear you on that, but I'm just not at that point of my life where I want to, you know, give up. Besides Goulburn is freezing, and a bit boring, I don't mean to offend, but it is a bit dull.
Having no money, losing most of my work and self esteem has given me a new start in life. I may have to sell my home now and live in social housing and my mental state is in tatters, but I am enjoying not being so tied down to my car, being more part of society by having to catch the bus, it gives me so much time to sit, think, read and plot. I don't mean plot to kill, I should point that out, that isn't what I plot whilst sitting on that really, really frustrating bus. Why do they keep pressing the bells all the time? Can't they see I'm in a hurry?!
All of the good things in life before were just a front. I didn’t really need to have a job, I didn’t really need to eat well and I don’t really need to live in nice accommodation, living in simple accommodation with drug addicted unemployed people is actually a very grounding experience and I am sure that they will prove to be good role models in my new life.
I also think that I am being kind to the environment now as well, not being able to drive, perhaps you should do more blitzes on the Hume Highway stretch, you’d be nabbing more people for your quota, but also you’d be doing a positive thing for the environment by forcing these criminals off the road.
So, thanks once again, ‘O brave solider of the law’, my life has changed for the better and I have you to thank for that.
I would suggest however that the constable in question cleanse and tone his skin, as, without the pustulant growths mentioned above, he might pass as a decent looking person. Never attractive, but a decent looking person, nonetheless.
Kind Regards,
Bob
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